for those of you who may be wondering...
I’ve never been good with words. I was always too afraid of how people would react to what I had to say, if I could even figure out how to say it. My thoughts were often mixed up and lost as they made their way from my head to others’ ears.
I lived in constant fear of being myself. I had a fear of disappointing, a fear of saying or doing the wrong things. And so for many years, that’s how I lived my life, living with the fear of not being perfect. Not being good enough. Which meant I never could open up to people, or even to myself for that matter. I was voiceless and alone, unable to find the words to form the loving relationships I craved.
From a young age, I tried to dominate the very thing that kept me from connecting with myself and others: words. I spent entire days submerged in reading tales of anything from time travel to tarantulas. I quickly began to develop an admiration for storytelling. As I read stories, I realized they could make me feel things, things I couldn’t quite put into words, but things that I could understand clearly nonetheless.
And then it clicked: I couldn’t describe what it was that I felt or who I was in a few simple statements, but I could show people these things through telling my own stories. With words came images. And soon enough, I found myself telling stories through drawings and paintings, and later, film and fashion. I found that with visual forms of art, I could express emotions and thoughts in ways that I couldn’t through words.
I’ve come a long way since then, but my overall goal with my creative work has stayed the same: cultivating a connection. I want to create art that will make people think, to make them feel, in ways they’ve never experienced before. Art that will leave people feeling seen– especially those who feel like they’ve never been seen before. Pertaining to the Latine as well as Queer community, I know all too well about this issue of underrepresentation; which is why I strive to represent these communities in the work I create.
And to that little girl I used to be who was so afraid of expressing all her wild ideas, I now say: embrace the silly, surreal, and magical. When the world feels bleak and hopeless, there is solace and sunshine to find in the magic of these far away lands. It is these bits of happiness that bring people together. And it is these bits of happiness which I seek to make ✿ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ☾ ｡⋆